Living Without Limits: How to Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

Do you ever feel boxed in? Not literally, of course; but mentally? By your thoughts, by your abilities... By your limitations? I know I have; in fact, there have been times where I don’t even want to start something because I feel as though I’m going to fail. However, I have some big news for you: those limitations are ONLY in your mind. So today, we’re going to figure out how to overcome the self-limiting thoughts that hold us back, hold us down, and make us feel weak. 

First of all, I want you to know that you are NOT alone. 

If you feel alone, trapped in your own mind... Please know that we've all been there. Yep, those self-limiting thoughts are probably the thing most of us have in common; what a fun shared trait, am I right? We ALL have self-limiting thoughts, and while not all of them are bad (think 'I shouldn't jump out of this moving car')... these thoughts can overwhelm you and control you if you let them. So let's take back control. 

What type of self-limiting thoughts do I need to overcome? 

As I mentioned previously, not all self-limiting thoughts are destructive; sometimes they’re there to keep us safe (again, ‘I shouldn’t jump out of this moving car’. However, there are PLENTY of self-limiting thoughts floating around in your brain that are actually pretty common… and they definitely shouldn’t be. So if you ever find yourself holding back because of the ideas I’m about to describe… Well, we’ll work on it, don’t you worry! 

The belief that you shouldn't do something because others will disapprove. 

It's not the disapproval of others that holds you back... it's the fear of potential disapproval and judgement. But I need to tell you something that you NEED to remember: if someone doesn't approve of something that makes you truly happy, they aren't worth having around in the first place. Not only that, but honestly, most people are so consumed by their own life and problems to truly notice what you're doing. So while you might think all eyes are on you, they probably aren't, and if they are... Well, they're probably just cheering you on. 

The belief that you don't have enough time to make a change. 

This is probably one of the most common self-limiting beliefs. "I'm too busy", "I don't have time", etc. The truth is, if you're truly set on something, you make time; in reality, when you say you don't have time, you probably mean you're comfortable and safe in your routine and don't want to change it up. But you'll never make progress towards your goals if you're 'comfortable'. Your current schedule might work well for you and make you feel safe, but if you’re not trying to better yourself and grow… then it’s not serving you. Remember, a ship is safe in harbor. But that's not what ships are made for.

The belief that you're going to fail, so there's no point in trying. 

First of all, I am SO guilty of this one; I think we all are. This is also probably one of the most damaging beliefs out there because it completely prohibits you from trying. Now, this self-limiting belief can stem from countless sources; maybe you think you're intrinsically not good enough, maybe you're terrified of failure, etc. But the truth remains the same: You have to stop seeing failure as a bad thing. If you don't get something right, that's great! You're making progress! You were brave enough to start! If you have tried, you haven't failed. True failure comes from lack of trying. 

 Any other beliefs that are holding you back. 

There are plenty of other self-limiting beliefs out there; maybe you believe you have personal traits that limit you, or maybe you think you're too old, or too young, or maybe you think you've already missed your chance. Whatever your self-limiting thought is, it's valid, it's there, and it's time for you to overcome it. 

So how do I overcome these beliefs? 

Step One: Identify the belief that's holding you back. 

The next time you find yourself hesitating or questioning yourself, pause for a moment. Try to identify what thoughts self-limiting beliefs are, and where they come from. Once you've identified these beliefs, try to recognize how ridiculous they might be; are these beliefs true? Are these beliefs grounded in reality? Is there any evidence supporting this belief, or are you just making it up? By identifying these beliefs and making an effort to see the truth, you’ve taken the first step in believing in your step. This is a huge first step, and honestly, it might be kind of difficult. Don’t be afraid if it takes you a while to recognize what exactly is holding you back. 

Step Two: Ask yourself how this belief is helping you. 

Okay, you've identified your self-limiting belief; now ask yourself if this belief is truly benefitting you. Sure, your self-limiting belief is keeping you safe... But is safety really worth it? Is this belief stopping you from becoming better? Is this belief helping you grow and evolve? 

Is this belief truly benefitting you, or are you just comfortable in your little bubble of safety? I think you'll find that this belief isn't helping you in the slightest; in fact, this belief is probably holding you back and causing you harm, especially if it’s preventing you from becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be. 

Step Three: Establish new beliefs. 

Now that you've found your most common self-limiting beliefs and have established that they are NOT helping you, it's time to change your way of thinking. The best way to do this? Establish your new beliefs in writing! Write down your self-limiting beliefs, whatever they may be; now, come up with several ways to prove that belief WRONG. 

You think you're doomed to fail? Write down ALL the times you've succeeded in the past! 

You think someone is going to disapprove? Write down all the reasons why they should be HAPPY FOR YOU. 

Whatever your self-limiting thought, write down 4-5 POSITIVE alternatives to this thought to establish new, healthy beliefs! 

Step Four: EMBRACE your new beliefs. 

I won't lie: it won't be easy to adapt new beliefs that encourage you. But it will be worth it. So to avoid falling back into old, limiting patterns, write down your new, positive, alternative beliefs and bring them with you everywhere. Maybe keep the piece of paper in your purse, or set a picture of your new beliefs as your phone background. Whatever you choose, make sure that you continuously remind yourself that your beliefs should not hold you back; they should propel you forward into who you want to be. 

I know how hard it is to overcome the barricades you’ve built inside your own head.

It can feel like an impossible task to believe in yourself and become who you’ve always wanted to be… But it’s possible, and it is so, so worth it. So today, you should try taking the first step towards a healthier mindset, and always remember, “you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”